starrynight189 (starrynight189) wrote in ice_in_my_soul,

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Well, I'm new to this community so I thought I would post. I will admit that I belong to other communities, but have never had any desire to post. When I found this one and started reading some of the earlier posts, I knew I wanted to join and actually write something in this one.

My mom passed away on April 29, 2003. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer when I was in the first grade. I know that it is truly a blessing that she lived as long as she did and that I got to spend so much time with her, but I still feel like I was robbed. I was only 14 years old when it happened. I have since been in therapy and I thought I was getting better at a point, but now I'm not so sure. Not a minute goes by that I don't think about her and how much I miss her. I was so close to her, and now such a big part of me is gone. I have found that it doesn't get any easier. I thought I would get used to it, but I now know that I never will. I'm beginning to think that I will never feel the same again, and I may never be how I was. I just don't understand why all this had to's not fair to loose a parent at such a young age. she used to be the reason I got out of bed every day, but now I am struggling to find another reason. I've just had one of those days today where all I can think about is her and all I want to do is be with her and see her and tell her how much I love her. It's just so hard....

Well, that's all for now...but I want you all to know that is there is anything I can do for you; feel free to email me at and I will do my best. Thank you for this community, I finally feel like I can open up to people.
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