it's the weirdest feeling in the world, cos everytime i hear i'm getting money because my dad died it makes me happy at first, but after about 10 minutes of jumping up and down i get this incredibly weird feeling. i'm getting this money beause i don't have a father to be out working for it to support me. i should be happy i'm getting this again right?
now that i'm done been extatic and jumping up and down i'm not sure what to feel. i'm just ...numb...again. dammit i can't even cry. i think i'm starting to babble now..so i'm going to stop typing..i just wish i could cry right now..*sigh*